


The Family Business

by space_trashlord



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: and i love them so much, but like i want you to love them with me, so like, swearing and talk of sex but no actual sex, this is what my ryder and her brother would be like imo, well it's gonna be multiple different ryders tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 01:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8036371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_trashlord/pseuds/space_trashlord
Summary: Basically me making drabbles and stuff as I get HYPED FOR ME:A. This is basically about all the various characters I wanna make.





	The Family Business

**Author's Note:**

> So if you guys don't know, the main protag in ME:A is one of the two people we've seen. You get to choose one, the other is your sibling. Now, sadly, that means I can't have identical twins. However, I don't give a fuck, this is my piece of fiction, and I will do whatever the fuck I want with it. As such, every time I come up with an idea, much like Overwatch Drabbles, I'll put it in here. I'll try and tell you each of the characters involved in the beginning of each chapter.

Aria Ryder was, in a word, fucked.

"Gareth, if Dad finds out, he will literally tear my limbs from my body and beat me to death with them. After using them to beat the Remnant to death first." she hissed into the comms, voice likely too quiet for her twin to hear over his obnoxious laughter.

"You fucked _up_!" Gareth cackled, hand slamming down on his desk as he began to wheeze for breath.

"Yes, I lost the data module." Aria sighed. "But..."

"But what, he's going to _destroy_ you." Gareth snorted.

"The plant looks kinda like a flytrap. And I think I can get it back. Say, didn't you want a new plant to examine?" Aria began to grin.

"...Like a flytrap, huh?"

"A purple and pink venus flytrap, yes."

"...Did it try to eat your hand?" Gareth asked, tone neutral, betraying nothing.

Except that this was his twin he spoke to, she knew she had him hook, line, and sinker.

Aria wisely decided to leave out that it had attempted to eat her whole. The only thing her brother loved more than his plants was her, and he'd probably just bring a flamethrower to torch the thing for so much as attempting to snap at her.

"Yup. You wanna come down here and check it out?" Aria's grin grew further.

"More than I want a dick up my-"

"Oh god _please no. I don't want to know."_

\-----

Gareth had made it down in record time, managing to tell their father that there were no issues, Aria had just seen a plant she wanted the family botanist to check out, no problems.

"He fucking knows though." Gareth grunted, as they climbed up to the plant.

"It's Dad. He's fucking omnipotent. The only thing that scares him is Mum." They both shuddered as the idea of their mother becoming involved in all of this came to mind. The woman was probably stronger than Commander Shepard-Alenko. And definitely scarier.

"Yeah, but that's called 'being logical'." Gareth agreed.

They reached the plant, observing it carefully, while looking for a way to get the data module back.

"You had to let the plant eat the module with the best intel we have on this cave system yet, didn't you?" Gareth punched Aria's shoulder.

"I didn't let it, it just went ahead and tried to eat me."

Gareth turned to her, voice taking on a strange accent. "You wot mate?"

"Nevermind, you grab the neck-thing, I'll use the magnet to try and pull it back up. If this doesn't work and you die, I'm telling them I gave you the data module." Aria grumbled, grabbing the magnet in question from the back of her brother's belt.

"We're gonna discuss this very soon." Gareth promised, glaring back at her as she fiddled with his armour.

"Not before you basically jizz yourself over this plant. Or O'Malley's stomach."

"You leave O'Malley out of this. My future husband doesn't deserve you talking shit like this." Gareth sniffed.

"You've never even spoken to him."

"One day, my dear, one day."

\------------

Getting the data module was relatively easy, the piece of metal and holo-glass was perfectly intact, and all the intel was untouched.

Getting the plant for Gareth to bring aboard, however, was a pain in the fucking ass.

"Daaaaaad." Gareth whined into the comms. "This plant is the only living carnivorous plant we've seen in this _solar system_ to date. We have to study it!"

"I don't want that carnivorous pile of leaves on my damn ship, son. Especially not when it's 'large enough to eat a fucking bear, holy shit'. To quote you." Markus Ryder was a tough man to crack sometimes.

"Can I bribe you?" Gareth asked.

"You mean, can your sister bribe you on your behalf?" Markus sounded like he was raising his eyebrows, not at all impressed by Gareth.

"Yeah."

Markus sighed.

"Proceed."

"Three words. Asari. Sunrise. Chocolates." Aria smirked.

"...I knew you were my favourite child for a reason."

"Dad!" Gareth gasped, hand flying to his chest is mock pain. The hand quickly flew back to around the plant as it began to squirm, sensing a possible freedom.

"Get on the ship you two, and Gareth? You get to feed it. No one helps you with it. It's all yours."

"Can I name it because I got it on board?" Aria asked.

"No no no nononono- Dad please no, her naming is horrific-"

"Fuck yes, name it something horrible!" Markus cackled.

\------

The scientific name of the plant was now "Bigassus Plantus" of X413 Omnicius Prime.

"I can't believe you fucking named it Billy Bob Junior the Fourth." Gareth groaned.

"Oh yeah, what was your name gonna be?" Aria slapped his arm.

"I dunno. Reginald, Walter, fuckin' Ben. Better goddamn name than yours."

"I'm naming the next one "Fluffy Butternips". You can't stop me."

"I fucking hate you."


End file.
